It was bound to happen. A wonderful event that I couldn’t pass up. I’ve been mostly skipping going out or large social events. They are usually two loud for me to be understood and they are invariably too far from my blender. But, two delightful individuals got all nuptial and invited my sweetheart and I to take part in the festivities. There was no way I was going to un-rsvp. I got a fancy suit and everything. So, I had to strategize.
Originally, I was going to work a half day and then head to the wedding. I decided to take the day off and make sure I had a big filling breakfast (Cornbread waffles! blog post to come). I relaxed all morning after breakfast to conserve energy and right before leaving I drank some food.
The real trick was going to be the meal. At this point I’ve been at a couple of meals where I’m the only one not eating and I’ll tell you… try to avoid this. I’m not normally one to waste any food, but I decided that I was going to receive the meal and make sculptures out of the food. This was a very good decision.
Playing with your food provides you an opportunity to focus on your food in a way that objectifies it, gives you a chance not to be sitting awkwardly, and makes for a fun exchange with the people sitting around you. When I was done I offered my date and tablemates anything they wanted from my plate. Everyone enjoyed the experience and it created whimsy in an otherwise awkward situation. Plus art.
Drink water. Normally, you’re all hydrated from your smoothie lifestyle, but all the cheersing with champagne will get you quick on an empty stomach.
Put all the cream in your coffee.
Keep some chocolate milk in your date’s purse.
Go to the wedding. You’ll be so glad that you did.